Somewhere in One Han City
[Gintoki Sakata] So? Where exactly are the Scoundrel Three?
[player] Heard they're around here somewhere...
[Ichihime] I'm not really sure either, nyaa.
[Gintoki Sakata] Then let's ask around.//nOi you! You look like someone who knows things!
[Osamu Saitou] What is it?
[Ichihime] It's the big boss, nyaa! Hello, nyaa!
[Osamu Saitou] Priestess, what a coincidence.
[Gintoki Sakata] You know each other? That makes things easier.
[Ichihime] We're looking for the Scoundrel Three, nyaa. Have you seen them, nyaa?
[Osamu Saitou] Oh, that again...
[player] Again?
[Osamu Saitou] Lots of people are looking for that guy lately. Didn't expect you'd want that stuff too...
[player] Wait just a second, I don't think I'm following.
[Ichihime] We heard the Scoundrel Three were causing trouble, so we hired Gin from the Odd Jobs, nyaa!
[Osamu Saitou] The Odd Jobs? Like any kind of job?
[player] Gin has solved all sorts of problems in his world. He's basically the guy you call when you need something done.
[Gintoki Sakata] Hi there, I'm Gintoki Sakata of the Odd Jobs.
[Osamu Saitou] Pleasure, I'm Osamu Saitou.
[Gintoki Sakata] Solving problems is what I do. Now that you've come to me, you're in good hands!
[Osamu Saitou] ...//n(This mop top... can he actually deliver?)
[Gintoki Sakata] Oi, are you doubting me? Think I can't tell? It's written all over your face!
[Osamu Saitou] Come with me.
[Gintoki Sakata] Hey! Wait a second! Don't ignore me!
[player] Quite the lively scene here.
[Osamu Saitou] This place only opened recently, but it's already packed all day.
[Ichihime] What's causing this craze, nyaa?
[Osamu Saitou] They say it's a juice that boosts mahjong luck.
[Ichihime] Juice?! I want it too, nyaa!
[Gintoki Sakata] Hey! Running off to buy it already?!
[Wanjirou] Gimme seven bottles of that "Lucky Juice," woof!
[Sawako Kitami] A dozen for me, please!
[Mai Aihara] I-I'll take a whole case! Please...!
[Ichihime] Nyaa?! About to sell out already! Gotta buy now, nyaa!//nHello, I'll take the rest, nyaa!
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Oh! Lady Ichihime! Thank you for your support! I'll go get them ready. Please just wait in line for a moment.
[Gintoki Sakata] Huh! What're you doing here?!
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Oh, Kintoki! Can't believe I'd see you here!
[Gintoki Sakata] Not Kintoki, it's Gintoki! What the heck are you doing here?!
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Doing business, of course. What else could it be? Wound up in this One Han City somehow.//nTook me a hot minute to get my bearings, but now I'm back in the game.
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Lucky for me, my cargo hitched a ride to this world. Figured why not set up a shop right here.
[Gintoki Sakata] So you started scamming people with this "luck-boosting" snake oil?
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Hey now, careful with your phrasing! Nobody's scamming anyone! Why don't you hear what my customers have to say!
[Wanjirou] I feel like my stomach is working a lot better, woof!
[Sawako Kitami] Ever since drinking this juice, my skin's been glowing like never before.
[Mai Aihara] I-I saw Miss Hibiki Himekawa recommending it on CatChat, so...
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Ahahaha! Lady Himekawa sure is One Han City's Internet queen! That endorsement deal was worth every penny!
[Gintoki Sakata] Hold up – the juice is popular, but since when does it have anything to do with boosting luck?
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] You're thinking about the luck part all wrong! See, my juice makes you healthier. When you're healthier, you're more focused. When you're more focused, you play better. When you play better, you win more. Simple as that.
[Ichihime] Huh? So I win more... but it's not because my luck got better, nyaa?
[player] Sounds like a scam...
[Gintoki Sakata] Lucky Juice? More like repackaged surplus stock you're scamming folks with!
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Ahahahaha!
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Ahahahahahaha!
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Ahahahahahahahahahahaha!
[Gintoki Sakata] The hell you're laughing at! So you ARE dumping old inventory!
[player] Well, I think I know what's going on now.
[Ichihime] Still, everyone seems pretty happy with it, nyaa. I don't think Mr. Sakamoto quite hit the "Scoundrel" territory yet?
[Osamu Saitou] His promotion's over the top, but the business itself is legitimate.
[Osamu Saitou] The issue is his personal conduct.//nIt's the same thing every night... he gets blind drunk, causes a scene, and often ends up stumbling through the streets half-dressed, dancing and singing to himself.
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Haha, my bad, my bad. I repent every morning... but once the drinks flow, all bets are off!
[Gintoki Sakata] You've got zero remorse. Time to learn when to quit.
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Right back at you!
[Ichihime] Master, what now, nyaa?
[player] Well...
* Maybe we should send Mr. Sakamoto back.
[player] The drunken antics have gone too far. Best send him back.
* Mr. Saitou, what do you think?
[player] Many probably want Mr. Sakamoto to stay in One Han City... What's your take, Mr. Saitou?
[Osamu Saitou] Every place has its rules. No matter how good his products are, we can't let him disrupt public order.
[Osamu Saitou] Let him return to his world and rethink his business strategy. If it benefits One Han City, he's always welcome to come back.
[player] I see. A true entrepreneur, indeed. I'm with Mr. Saitou on this one.
[player] Alright Gin, it's in your hands now.
[Gintoki Sakata] Alright alright, off you go now.
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] No way am I going back! You see...
[Wanjirou] Leaving already, woof?!
[Sawako Kitami] What a shame...
[Mai Aihara] Without this juice... wh-what am I supposed to do...!
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] A real businessman fulfills customers' demands! Where there's need, there's me! That's why I'm not going anywhere!
[Gintoki Sakata] Well then, how about we settle this with a match? They say nothing in One Han City can't be solved by mahjong – let's follow tradition.
[Wanjirou] Hey, are you sure about challenging him, woof?
[Sawako Kitami] Don't forget that Mr. Sakamoto has the "Lucky Juice"!
[Mai Aihara] Mr. Sakamoto will absolutely win!
[Gintoki Sakata] In that case, you've got no excuse to run, huh?
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Gulp gulp gulp... Aha!//nWith this "Lucky Juice" in me, I'm invincible! I accept your challenge!
[Gintoki Sakata] That's the spirit. Now, let's settle it with this.
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Fist... that's how you want to settle it? A fight?
[Gintoki Sakata] No, it's rock-paper-scissors.
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Oh? Interesting. Don't be a crybaby when you lose.
[Gintoki Sakata] Well, let's begin! Rock, paper...
[Gintoki Sakata & Tatsuma Sakamoto] Scissors!
[Gintoki Sakata & Tatsuma Sakamoto] ...
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] What? How?!
[Gintoki Sakata] Well, I'm the winner.
[Osamu Saitou] Then please return to your own world.
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Wait! One more round!
[Gintoki Sakata] You just won't give up, huh? Fine, again. Rock, paper...
[Gintoki Sakata & Tatsuma Sakamoto] Scissors!
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Impossible! O-one more time!
[Gintoki Sakata] Rock, paper...
[Gintoki Sakata & Tatsuma Sakamoto] Scissors!
[Gintoki Sakata & Tatsuma Sakamoto] Scissors! Scissors! Scissors! Scissors...
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Nooooo! I've lost it all!
[player] With all that "Lucky Juice" inside him...
[Ichihime] Mr. Sakamoto got completely crushed, nyaa...
[Osamu Saitou] He just proved his own marketing claims are entirely fake.
[Sawako Kitami] Well, well, turns out it was fake!
[Wanjirou] So disappointed, woof.
[Mai Aihara] How could it be...! I believed in that juice so much...!
[Wanjirou] Everyone, time to head home, woof.
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Whaaat?! Don't go, everyone!!
[Gintoki Sakata] Well, all the regulars vanished just like that.
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Why?! Why can't I win at all?! Has the goddess of fortune abandoned me?!
[???] No, it's not that.
[Tatsuma Sakamoto] Huh?! Who's talking?!
[Kotaro Katsura] It's me.
[Gintoki Sakata & Tatsuma Sakamoto] Cobra?!
[Kotaro Katsura] Not Cobra, it's Katsura!
Episode 2: The Louder the Salesman, the Bigger the Lie
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